How to talk in your customers language

July 20, 2026

After reading these notes and watching the video, you will be able to:
Identify your customer’s hidden programming: Understand how psychological triggers override pure logic during persuasion.
Speak your buyers' language: Shift from talking about product specs and features to aligning with what your customers actually want.
Uncover customer wants: Use two practical methods (lead generation forms/scorecards and social media research) to find out what your audience desires.
Target "frustrated buyers": Identify and attract high-converting prospects from competitors' markets without engaging in price wars.
Sell using enthusiasm: Communicate solutions through high energy and customer-centric wants rather than exhaustive technical knowledge.

1. Fixed Action Patterns & Human "Code"

The Concept: Both animals and humans have a specific "code" or programming that causes them to respond automatically to certain triggers, often bypassing logic and reason. While animal programming is innate, human programming is learned over time.
Turkey & Polecat Experiment (M.W. Fox, ~1974):

Mother turkeys have strong maternal instincts, which are triggered by the "cheap cheap" sound of baby chicks.
When researchers placed a stuffed polecat (a natural predator) near a turkey, it normally attacked it. However, when a speaker inside the polecat played the "cheap cheap" sound, the mother turkey treated the predator as her own chick and took care of it.

The Copy Machine Experiment (Ellen Langer, 1978):
Researchers tested different ways to ask people in line at a copy machine if they could cut ahead:

"Can I cut in front?" 60% agreed
"Can I cut in front because I'm in a rush and need to print 5 papers?" 94% agreed
"Can I cut in front because I want to print 5 papers?" 93% agreed (even though everyone in line was there to print papers).

Takeaway: Simply having a reason—and using the word "because"—triggers an automatic compliance response in humans, even when the reason lacks logical justification.

2. The Language of Buyers: Steve Jobs & Michael Jordan

Steve Jobs & Apple (1983 vs. Return):

When launching the Lisa computer in 1983, Jobs ran a 9-page ad in The New York Times filled with heavy technical jargon. The launch failed, and Jobs was ousted.

When he returned to save Apple later, he applied his lesson on customer language: he bought a single page in The New York Times with just two words: "Think Different."

Michael Jordan's Return:

When returning to basketball, his marketing team wanted him to read multi-page statements. Jordan refused, instead speaking the language of his audience with just two words: "I'm back."

Core Rule: Businesses speak in terms of products and specs, but consumers and buyers speak a completely different psychological language.

3. Speaking in Terms of Wants (Andrew Carnegie & Dale Carnegie)

Andrew Carnegie & the Letter Story:

To prove to his sister-in-law that he could get her university-aged sons to reply to letters when she couldn't, Andrew wrote a casual letter mentioning he had slipped $5 inside each letter (though he purposefully didn't include the money). The sons replied immediately asking about the missing cash, proving people respond when you speak to what they care about.

Dale Carnegie's Principle (How to Win Friends and Influence People):

"The only way to influence other people is to speak about what they want and show them how to get it."

The Gillette Example (Expert Secrets by Russell Brunson):

Businesses often misidentify their category. While people might view Gillette razors as a Health product, Gillette's ads focus on romance and dating—meaning they actually sell inside the Relationships category. You must understand what your buyers actually want out of your product category.

4. Two Methods to Find Out Customer Wants

Method 1: Leads + Forms (Scorecard Marketing by Daniel Priestley):

Gather leads by offering a lead magnet or interactive quiz/scorecard (e.g., tests to find out if your relationship is healthy or if you qualify for a loan).
Beyond basic contact details and a signal of interest, ask targeted questions to uncover their exact problems and wants.

Method 2: Social Media Market Research:

Find Key Persons of Influence (KPIs) or major leaders in your industry.
Look at the comment sections of their social media channels to find unanswered questions from frustrated buyers.

5. Navigating Competitor Markets & Finding Frustrated Buyers

The Three Types of Buyers in Any Market:

Diehard Fans: Brand loyalists (e.g., Apple vs. Samsung). Do not waste time trying to convert them.
Content Buyers: Focused heavily on pricing and switching convenience. Not worth your time.
Frustrated Buyers: People whose current solutions are failing them. They ignore price and time constraints because they just want results. Focus exclusively on these buyers

Targeting Your Ideal Avatar:
Define your ideal avatar and ask the two W's: Where are they gathering in groups? and Who are they gathering around (their Dream 25 or Dream 100 influencers)?
Fish for frustrated buyers in other pools and bring them into your own market by addressing their pain points directly.

6. Enthusiasm Over Product Knowledge (Frank Bettger)

The Two Insurance Salesmen:

The first salesman had exhaustive technical knowledge of insurance but couldn't close sales. The second salesman knew a fraction of the details but sold heavily due to one trait.
The Formula:
Enthusiasm > Product Knowledge

Frank Bettger's Core Rule:

If you struggle to feel natural excitement, apply the rule: "To become enthusiastic, act enthusiastically." (Fake it till you make it).

Note: Dale Carnegie notes this should be used for honest value exchange, not malicious manipulation.

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